Monday, March 22, 2010

Pre-Cana Recap

So about 3 weeks ago I posted about getting ready for our Pre-Cana class (learning how to get married in the Catholic Church). But then I never followed up. So I figured I better do that.

The overall class was pretty interesting. It didn't focus on the Catholic religion or really religion in general very much. It was very focused on the relationship of the couple. I think it would be a very beneficial class for anyone getting married.

We had a pretty large group with us. There were probably about 70 people in the room. We had 2 other couples at our table and that was a nice group to chat with. The leaders were a really nice married couple and they were very realistic about life and marriage.

The format was:
-Introduce top
-Individually write about the topic/Answer questions about the topic
-Get together with your partner and discuss it knee to knee
-Discuss at your small group table
-One person from the table share with the group
-The leaders recapped the topic

-Discussing topics that hadn't come up before in our relationship
-Spending the day together
-There wasn't anything uncomfortable at all
-Small group discussion was interesting

-The large group was too large (having one person from every table report got a little redundant after a while)

Interesting Topics:
-Who are the three most significant people in your life and why?
-What are three of the most significant events and why?
-Listing the top 3 "ingredients" needed in a marriage (not love, that one is obvious)
-What strengthens your communication? What injures it?
*Who will be primarily responsible for the management of finances?
*Agreed to save regular amounts of money from each paycheck?
*Discussed life and health insurance?
*Exchanged info about debts and assets?
*Amount of money that one can spend without consulting the other?
*This one was very interesting at our table! We had discussed it before though so we were golden!
-Division of housework/childcare (including what it was like for each person growing up)
-Goals for the individual and the couple
-Expression of affection and intimacy as a couple
*And this wasn't creepy or uncomfortable at all. And they only touched on Birth Control a little bit and said if there are any questions about Natural Family Planning just come talk to them, otherwise you can read about it in the book.
-Having children (moving past if, when and how many)
*How will you make sure to continue strengthening your relationship with children?
*How will it change your relationship?
*If infertility arises have you talked about what you would be willing to try?
*What will your marriage look like after your children have grown?

Other activities:
-There was a page of about 200 adjectives and you had to pick which ones your felt described you and which ones you felt described your partner.
-At the end we wrote a "letter" to one another about the strongest feelings we have about our upcoming marriage. It was really really neat to read those. I have heard of other people in Pre-Cana writing letters to each other that are mailed to them on their first anniversary. That would be even cooler!

Like I said, overall, I found it very interesting and it definitely spurred some interesting conversations as a couple. I think a class like this would be beneficial for anyone getting married to make sure these topics of conversation have come up.

Please excuse my shiny face and Adam's unhappy one. It was a long day!

This was the knee to knee position we sat in when sharing with each other

Thanks for those of you who shared about your Pre-Cana class on my last post. It seems that most people have found it pretty informative and interesting. Score one for the Catholic Church!