Student: "Ms. Stephanie, my mom says God has two eyes."
Me: "Oh. Ok"
Student: "But my mom SAID God has TWO eyes."
Me: "Did somebody tell you differently?"
Student: "Yeah. YOU did!"
Me: "I DID? When did I say that??"
Student: "When you read about the turkey on the bus."
Me: "The turkey on the bus??"
Student: "The turkey who can't drive the bus. You said God has one eye."
Me: "Hm. I don't remember that. Do you mean the book Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus?"
Me: "I don't remember saying that God has one eye. Why did I say that?"
Student: "I don't remember. You said it. With the pigeon."
Me: "Did you tell your mom I said that?"
Students: "YEAH! And SHE said God has TWO eyes!"
Various students were talking about poop and Chuckie killing people (I know, seriously, pre-schoolers know about Chuckie?) and they kept getting told to stop.
....talk of poop and Chuckie continues during snack time
Me (in a stern teacher voice): "Ms. Stephanie's friends. You have been asked to STOP talking about things that are not nice. We talk about NICE things at school. Just because you heard it or saw it somewhere else doesn't mean it is NICE. I want to hear my friends talking about NICE things."
....crickets chirping as everyone stares and looks abashed....
Student to other student: "Hey.....want to talk about....PONIES?"
Me: "(Dying of laughter)......Yes. That is a good idea. Please talk about ponies".
Another student: "And unicorns?"
Me: "That sounds like a fabulous idea!"
During snack I overhear what I think is someone saying "Michael Jackson"
Me: "Did you just say 'Michael Jackson?"
Student: "No. I was talking about....unicorns."
Me: "(Laughing...realizing she thinks that is a NOT nice thing to talk about...Hmmm...maybe it isn't?) If you WERE talking about Michael Jackson that is OK. I was just wondering if I heard right."
Student: "I said Michael Jackson. I play with Michael Jackson on the Wii"
Another Student: "Michael Jackson sings Thriller....(starts singing) Thriller! Thriller!"
Looking at pictures of winter vocabulary.....
Me: "(Pointing to snowball) What is this called?"
Student: "Snowman balls!"